March 12th, 2004

Subject: Change of personality and life Time: 07:46 am

So i decided that ima change my sn on LJ, it is now orangeblossom16... nice name huh? Tom thought of it in the car while we were talking about being a truck driver. If i become one then that will be my radio name! lmao

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March 11th, 2004

Time: 07:43 pm

Change of plans. I am going to school at 9:30 and then i am going to 3rd, and then Yearbook and ima stay there and tell Courtney and Charissa that i have to leave because i am taking my step dad to Frt. Erwin and ima tell my Math teacher that i cant come after school to finish the test. And then ima leave at 1 and go. He doesnt have to be there until 3 but it takes us two hours to get there and my mom said i didnt have to go but i want to because Sat is not a garrentee. I dunno what to do... God, things are so bad, or so they seem.

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Time: 06:42 pm

Laura was joking about the porn loving lol.... anyway, i had an awesome time with Tom and Laura. It was awesome. Stayed up late with Laura, talked WAY too much on the phone with WAY too many ppl lol. But all in all it was something that i am glad i got to do. Sunbathing, Margaritas, Smoothies, Nutty Monkeys, Monopoly empire (hehe, i stayed until my last dollar was gone! Although it was also Laura's last dollar. We were on the same team.) Late night Uno games, Afraid of the dark (LAURA!), The ghost (A comin and a goin), and playing Secret Agent women to get some candy. lol. Also so many other things that we were laughing at at all times. It was great. I also wish Aaron had been there. Sorry you couldnt come Aaron, we couldnt get 9 ppl in the truck and Tom wanted to hang with Laura... It was ok and i loved spending the time with Tom, but now its gonna end. I just found out that Tom is leaving tomorrow at 9. :( Ima go and say good bye and then go to school so i can go and register, go to math, take the last 20 min of my test after school and then go back to yearbook to checkout with Susie. I'll be glad that all of that is gonna get my mind off of Tom. But there is this Fam picnic at Ft. Erwin on Sat and we get to go to that to see him but that is not garenteed so im not gonna count too much on that.

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March 10th, 2004

Current Music: Ashleigh laughing. She's talking to Matt whom we woke up. Subject: Exactly. Time: 12:39 am Current Mood: amused

Hello everyone; this is Ash's bestfriend Laura [starsinthesky05]. It's almost one am I think, and we are sitting up in her room laughing our asses off. We are ditching the next two days of school to go to Palm Springs at that resort/spa she was talking about. It should be a very intresting trip. We were trying to go asleep and I heard some weird noise so we are up. haha. I have no clue what I'm typing. Ahh so anyway- this update was for Aaron because I told him I would make Ash update; so I decided I would do it for her. So Ash and her family came to pick me up tonight. I walking out of my house and they are coming down the street and all you hear is her 'step-dad' yelling, "Lauraaaaaaaa! We are coming to get youuuu!" This should be a very intresting trip. Secretly, Ashleigh loves porn.

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March 7th, 2004

Time: 01:44 pm

Ima short hand this you guys... I went to Palm Springs last night. It was nice and pretty, i love the nights there. Probably going to spend a couple of nights in the resort when Tom comes. Twas awesome. Have school tomorrow and i'm sick and tired of it. GOing to see First 50 Dates. Things seem to be going ok, cant wait till Tom comes. 3 Tests on Tues. and Susie comes to Yearbook on Friday. Later guys, on my way to a movie.

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March 4th, 2004

Time: 09:25 pm

Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: Jimmy Eat World Are you female or male:: Bleed American Describe yourself:: Sweetness How do some people feel about you:: Cautioners How do you feel about yourself:: The Middle Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: Get it Faster Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: My Sundown Describe where you want to be:: Your House Describe what you want to be:: The Authrority Song Describe how you live:: A Praise Chorus Describe how you love:: Hear You me Share a few words of wisdom:: If you dont, dont Bands // Song Titles brought to you by BZOINK!

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March 3rd, 2004

Subject: My day Time: 07:40 pm

So i got home and cruised the internet, i talked to no one, just got bored so i went to lie on my bed and read and i realized that i forgot my fave book in Spanish, yearbook or Math class. I REALLY need to find it tomorow; Yo necesito mi libro... see i am getting good at this lol. And she gave me an F! Grrrrr, mad at that.... OMG! YOu guys! I am/was ( a little bit of both) attracted to a married man. He is 26 and a mortician. lol.... but he is a total hotty and his manly exterior is just so Ahhhhhh lol... He has a bitch of a wife tho. His whole fam thinks so and so do i lol. So i think thats all, i think i might go to bed. I am so tired for some reason, maybe i have a sleeping disease... who knows lol... letyer

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March 1st, 2004

Time: 07:11 pm

I should be doing Homework right now but i cant help but NOT do it! lol. i have to rewrite my essay because my mom confiscated mine. She said it was a lie lol... after she laughed in my face. Its not a lie, i really DO hate doing the dishes lol.... anyway, i g2g, a whole new essay is coming to me.

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February 27th, 2004

Subject: Sick Time: 02:37 pm

So the last day and a half i have been SOOOOO sick... i woke up at one in the morning on WEd and started to throw up... it was gross and i kept throwing up until about 10 this morning. I was even throwing up when i had nothing left TO throw up! I was so god damn miserable and in so much pain. I had begged God to take away the pain and yet it wasnt leaving so i sat there for about an hour in pain and i begged Him again and it didnt leave and then i realized that i was going about it all wrong and i asked God to give me the strength to get through the pain and you know what? The pain that i was experiencing had eased up TREMENDOUSLY! I think that was a miracle, thats why i beleive in Him so much Anyway, i got to go, i think i might go to Starbucks later on today... hopefully... dammit, its all Pai's fault for getting me hooked... grrrr.. but i LOVE It! thanx Pai!

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February 25th, 2004

Time: 08:40 pm

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Time: 06:58 pm

So, i spent about 3 to 4 hours with Ricky today and i LOVED it! I learned a lot more about him and i have come to the conclusion that i love him a lot. He is one of my new role models. I mean he had STRAIGHT F's in school and he had to go to continuation school, failed that, and then to adult school, failed that too. but he saw that he was heading down the wrong path because he saw his friends get burned and get into bad shape. Well, he went out and got his GED and he started to work. Actually work and we both share the same veiw about our dad. HAHA lol. I love my dad because he helped create me but he was never a REAL dad, he was just that guy that gave me genes. lol. Anyway, i think i might talk to Rickky a lot more! Like on the phone and he wants to meet Tom because he said if a guy is as me and my mom were describing him and he actually took good care of my mom then he was worth meetings. Which brings me to another point. In 13 days i am staying home for a whole week (going to get all assignments from teachers) because Tom is coming up from Frt. Erwin (dont know how to spell) and we get to spend ALL week with him. *squeals with Joy* It will be the last time we see him because about a week after that he is on his way to Iraq, for a year and a half. :( Hopefully he will be back before i graduate. i would really love it if he was there for it! Anyway, ima wrap this up cause i still have some unfinished HW to do (dont wanna tho) and i am tired and i cant breathe all that good, i think one of my ribs might be pushing on my lung because it hurts like a mofo to breathe.

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February 23rd, 2004

Time: 04:14 pm

So today in th, my mom calls me out of class and i thought she was calling me out because the CPS guy might be coming early or something but it turns out that my older brothers had gotten into an accident and were in the hospital. Loma Linda Hospital because that is where they fly all of the trama patients. Well my brothers were coming home from Vegas and they Hydroplaned and the truck flipped and rolled over about 5 times before it stopped. My oldest brother, Ricky had crushed his whole right hand and broke his neck in two places. We rushed to the hospital and we went to visit him. He said he didnt expect any visitors. Bull! We would ALWAYS visit him! He's my favorite older brother. ANyway, he wanted out of there bad but he was still in Emergency and the doctors ahd already done three MRI's and 3 cat scans. And we visited with him fro an hour (not nearly enough) before they came back to do another MRI. They had found some unknown metal in his body. I dunno, i am trying to convince my mom to let me outta school so i can visit with him longer. But this has made me realize that time is precious and that i shouldnt just wait around for an oppurtunity to call him ( i have been too chicken to do it at all before) I think ima call him now. Not now now... but like from now on lmao... ttyl

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February 20th, 2004

Subject: Darn! Time: 06:39 pm

So, no one started anything with me today and my temper has gone down temendously! I should really stop writing in here when i am emotional! lol. So i tried to keep my cool with people and i was happier by 5th period. Although my mood went down in 4th, cause the teacher wanted me to get up and walk to the window and look out. WTF?!?!?! Anyway, got to hang with Pai in 5th for awhile. He's a cool guy and he has a lot of conflict goin on lol... although doesnt every teenager? Went to work today and i found out that the check that i deposited in my NEW bank account has bounced! Forcing me to be -30 dollars. Oh by God, i swear Ashley will pay me back the money AND the 30 dollars that has sprung up out of HER fault of giving me a bounced check! GRRRRRRRRR, kinda mad at her right now. I have work from 9 till 4 tomorrow which means if ima do something with Laura it will have to be after 4. I went to Aarons house today after work and i gave him his 20 dollars and a box of chocolates. I also gave my aunt, uncle, Jay, and baby cousins a carnation from the shop. HAHAHA, i acomplished a lot today. lol. So, i kinda want to know who posted in my journal annoymously. I want to see who did that and thank them for thier kindness, that was sweet. Well, thank you whoever said that, i appreciate it. Also, one more thing. The guy from CPS is coming to my house on Monday after school. Wish me luck guys. I need to make everything perfect.

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February 19th, 2004

Subject: FUCK! Time: 06:51 pm

I would like to see the fucker that fucks with me tomorrow. I WILL go off on that person and make thier life a living hell! I will even fight someone on school campus i am so fucking mad! Do you want to know why i am SOOOOOO GOD DAMN MAD?!?!?! Oh i'll tell you! David (big David, this whole post is about him), WHO IS A FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO I WANT TO FUCKING HURT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD, called CPS on us! OOOOOOO, no no no no, see you can break my legs, you can fuck me raw, you can fucking try to kill me! NOTHING will make me as mad as i am right now with that fucker! WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS?!?!?!?! OMG! i am actually screaming!!!!!!!! And if the social worker comes to my school tomorrow to talk to me, i will raise THE BIGGEST scene known to man tomorrow. I will scream, i will kick and i will be the most stubborn person you have ever met! NO ONE will take me from my mom! AND if they TRY i will run away. GAREENTEED! There is not ands, ifs or buts! I will run away and i will kill DAVID! I AM NOT GOING INTO A FOSTER HOME AGAIN! NEVER! You will have to kill me before i go. I will kill myself. I'm not gonna do it! I wont! I swear to god! My god, now all the anger has left my system all i can do is cry. I cant do this again, not at this age... there is no reason to take me from my family. Please God, dont.

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February 18th, 2004

Subject: WOAH! Time: 03:49 pm

WOAH! Watch out people! I have just got an ATM card! and i am NOT afraid to use it! WHOOOHOOO i was sooooo excited when i got it and now i have it. YAY! lol... now i wanna use it!

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February 17th, 2004

Subject: there Time: 08:21 pm

yeah im still alive

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February 10th, 2004

Subject: Grrrr Time: 08:54 pm

Grrrrr, last night i was talking to Chris and he asked me if i have ever cuddled and do i miss it.... Oh god, so many answer, of course i miss it, i miss it all. I miss the feeling of having someone to call yours. I miss the smile that spreads onto my face when i see the guy i like. I miss the touch of human skin. I miss the feel of arms wrapped sround me. I miss the touch of lips on my forehead. I miss having someone to cry to when everything else seems to fall around me. I miss haveing a self confident smile and feeling in my heart. I miss the little things. I miss hearing that certain voice on the other side and knowing that things will be alright. I miss a lot of things. I guess i do miss being with a guy. And it sucks becuase the people that i like dont like me or i dont liek the person that lieks me and i dont see myself with David, not at all. I mean the guy is too young! And i dunno, grrrr. Life sux and people die! DIE YOU ALL, DIE!

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February 9th, 2004

Subject: Crap crap crap Time: 06:52 pm Current Mood: drained

My day was CRAP! Blah blah blah blah blah! I'm so tired and i have a grip of HW. Damn HW, what gives? The teachers think we have no LIFE?!?!? I knwo they dont! Giving us HW, and what the hell is up with school? YOu think i like school you morons! Grrrrrrr, i havent felt this way in a long time. But it just hit me today. Like a wav of depression and then dislike and then crabbiness. GOD! I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BUT I CANT! What is wrong with me you guys? I feel so BLAH! Ashley's dad came to work today... and he was "supervising" us. BULLSHIT! He wanted to make sure that we were earning our money! And i respect that to a point. But today he was pissing me off, and then what REALLY pissed me off was the fact that he MADE FUN OF BILL ENGVALL! WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS!?!?!?!?! Bill Engvall is twice, no four times the man he is! I was just so fucking mad at him. And then he took the kids to LONESE THEY WE WORKING "hard" I was working harder!@ and he didnt even offer, i would have so no politely and left it at that but NOOOOO, he didnt even offer for me and David. Asshole lol... David seems to be getting bolder and bolder still. And i mean it... god, i hope i aint leading him on. Emily and her sister are in the same predicament... lol... God, i dunno. I am soooo tired, and avoiding HW lol... good ol me. Laura is weirding out on me... lol she seems to be scared/excited/nervous about something but i dunno lol.... its funny to hear her ramble on and on....

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February 8th, 2004

Subject: Horrible Bastard! Time: 06:06 pm

This was the WORST experience ever! By far! He is such a disguisting BASTARD! And if it wasnt for my mom needing to have a witness to anything that happened, then really wouldnt have been there. GOD! Ok, lets start off.... I was watering plants at work, David and Andy started to get edgy because they were going to see thier dad in an hour. So things were really tense. Laura and Chris showed up! Which was a GREAT surprise! Plus we were talking about them at the time lol... hehe. Anyway, i have to go with my mom down to the Wildwood park and we waited for half an hour until David (Big david, now known as the bastard) showed up. He had his sister and friend come too and meet him. So the boys were visiting with the bastard and the bastard's friend brought a camera right? For evidence to anything in the courts ya know... Anyway, his friend, Gilbert was staring at mme... The bastard was staring and he had his stupid smile on his fucking face. That smile that says yeah, i want you... and i had the finger that was so tempted to flip him off that says FUCK you ASSHOLE! He had that fucking smile EWWWWWWWWW, it made me feel SOOOOO uncomfortable. And if he came closer then 5 feet i was ready to kick his fat ugly smelly ass far away! But i survived, ew, lol and we went back to the shop and David smacked my ass! He is getting bolder and bolder each day! Just two days ago he told me i sounded sexy on the phone and he called me a sexy beast... ok, i need to stop flirting with him. Grrrr. lol... i like him but not in that way... blah, neway g2g

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February 6th, 2004

Time: 09:39 pm

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